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Friday, January 25, 2008

The Four-Part Cure (How to Live the Happiest Possible Life)

Don't fear god,
Don't worry about death;
What is good is easy to get, and
What is terrible is easy to endure.

--Philodemus, Herculaneum Papyrus, 1005, 4.9-14

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Snow Leopard Thinks it's Funny

The feral male is unaware of his coarse beard growth. When he is done making love he smushes his face into his mate's. Her softer skin rashes red on both cheeks where he has mashed her, but she doesn't complain.

He takes an hour-long shower, shaves, brushes his teeth, applies after shave, cologne, and SPF lotion. Then he combs his hair and puts on his robe.

For breakfast he grabs a handful of almonds from a container on the kitchen counter. He counts off five prunes from a bag in the cabinet. He shoves it all in his mouth at once and chews for several minutes while on the couch, surveying the channels for a reality show.

He has one-half hour to pack for his trip to Chicago. He is looking forward to seeing his friends. He thinks he should pack ziploc bags with almonds and prunes.

He gets up to brush his teeth again. He must remember to pack his toothbrush. There is now 15 minutes until his car arrives for JFK. He will wait until there is ten before he packs his things.

Outside his window, he can see a man on the balcony across the street. The man is wearing thick horn-rimmed glasses, and wearing his winter coat, breathing steam from his mouth, ironing a shirt on an ironing board.

Snow Leopard grins with his large canine teeth. There is still 12 minutes to go.