Your spoon won't bend becausei...

Your spoon won't bend becauseit's just that--a spoon. Mine does because there is no spoon, just my mind. Become the spoon and bend yourself.

Just said, "Well, the kid scre...

Just said, "Well, the kid screwed up again, Martha," literally to someone named Martha about a junior writer--best line of my whole career.

I'll teach you to be happy! I'...

I'll teach you to be happy! I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!