In the 95 degree heat of August

A man of indeterminate age with Down’s Syndrome, wearing an Italian suit and sunglasses, shouting stock market orders into his cell phone

A senior citizen in a track suit and wheelchair, vomiting into a street corner trash can

An angry man with no legs alternately begging for money and demanding to be let into a nearby strip club

A three-year-old child riding a big wheel on the sidewalk at 2am, gently apologizing for being in the way of drunken young adults on their way home from a club

Civilization/I destroy it to feel like/I’m a part of you (Godzilla haiku)

RT @tweetmeme Casper The Bus-Riding British Cat, 1998-2010 | The Awl http://ow.ly/1ngYcf

When Christ returns, won’t he be scared by modern transit? Yes, which is why the Sony corp. is looking into some sort of hover donkey…

Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee.

Hit me up with your address if you want a holiday card this year… I send tiny drawings of French Canadian prostitutes on gum wrappers.

RT @awl Listicle without Commentary: The 85 Best Morrissey Solo Songs, In Order | The Awl http://bit.ly/8pcYoe

Your spoon won’t bend becauseit’s just that–a spoon. Mine does because there is no spoon, just my mind. Become the spoon and bend yourself.

Just said, “Well, the kid screwed up again, Martha,” literally to someone named Martha about a junior writer–best line of my whole career.

I’ll teach you to be happy! I’ll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!